


Name Your Poison

by Rhysanoodle



Category: Serpent & Dove Series - Shelby Mahurin
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Modern AU, Roommates, Slow Burn, Teasing, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 05:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20961416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhysanoodle/pseuds/Rhysanoodle
Summary: Modern Loureid AU which spun off of the prompt: “Whenever I get coffee at your Starbucks you spell my name wrong and it’s turned into a challenge to see how wrong you can get it”





	Name Your Poison

_Ryeyeyeyeyeyd_. Reid sighed at he plucked his cup off the bar and strode back towards the table his partner Ansel had saved for them in the corner. 

He had thought he’d seen every variation of his name misspelled on a Starbucks cup until he had transferred stations and started coming to the one closest to his new location on his breaks.  


The coy little barista behind the bar seemed to delight in purposefully butchering his name as horribly as possible. Once, he’d even caught her hiding behind the register, stuffing a cinnamon bun into her face as if her life depended on it. When she caught him staring though, instead of blushing and averting their eyes like most people did when confronted with an officer in uniform, she merely stuck her tongue out at him, half-pulverized pieces of dough and cinnamon mush sticking to it.

Most of the time, he kept his head down in an attempt to ignore her, yet he couldn’t help his eyes from flitting toward her as she sat with her elbows propped on the counter, not even bothering to look anything other than completely and entirely bored as she hit a lull in her shift following the lunch rush.

Wasn’t there something she could be cleaning? Reid was no expert on running a coffee shop, yet he was pretty sure that there was always _something_ to be done. 

With the girl’s freckles lit by the midday sun streaming through the window, it was difficult for Reid to keep his eyes off of her. There was no denying that she was beautiful, with her piercing turquoise eyes and unruly brown hair which cascaded down her back—another health violation, he was certain—and it bothered Reid that he somehow hadn’t found one of the other dozens of Starbucks nearby to frequent instead.

He cursed himself for being so drawn to her likeness. At least Ansel had his nose so deep in his phone whenever they had a few minutes to spare that the young upstart didn’t seem to have noticed Reid’s fixation on the woman.

Just then, he got a call on his radio, some disturbance at the capital and rounded Ansel up, the rookie sighing as he was interrupted from whatever he’d been doing on social media, and the two hurried back to the squad car—but not before he caught the girl’s eyes glance up in interest at the static.

* * *

Lou sighed, lamenting the fact that she was missing the rally. Her stupid boss always booked her for the worst times—the lunch rush and then that horrible dead zone in the middle of the day, never taking her preferences into account. This was the third one this year she’d had to skip due to not being able to take the time off.

Coco had assured her that she would cover Lou’s shift next time, but she didn’t want to take that away from her best friend. She wanted them to be able to march and protest together. She had no doubt that it was where the cops had taken off to try to restore order.

The president wasn’t a fan of women picketing for their rights right in front of his lawn, so he was always trying to get them disbanded, regardless of the fact that they always made sure to do everything by books—obtaining permits and never creating enough of a disturbance that they could start making arrests.

It was so unfair and ironic that the gangly pig was able to go but she was stuck here. Ever since he started frequenting the place a few weeks ago, she’d noticed how he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of her. He always tried to hide it, but he was not even remotely sneaky. He probably didn’t have a deceptive bone in his body.

_Reid._ What a stupid, self-righteous name. Lou had taken to butchering it as much as humanly possible, each day presenting an opportunity for her to trigger that little frown of disdain as he picked up his Americano and found out which of her masterpieces she had decided to grace him with.

It gave her no end of amusement to see him comb his fingers awkwardly through his copper hair as he returned to his much younger friend who seemed not to even realize they’d left their squad car. He was constantly snapping selfies, probably to send to all his little lady friends. At least the kid mellowed out the sternness of his compatriot.

Maybe this kid had promise, but Lou was distrusting of cops in general. They seemed more interested in upholding that bigot in office’s laws and writing tickets than actually protecting their citizens. Just the fact that they wasted so much time supervising her peaceful protests attested to the fact that they didn’t care about what really mattered.

Finally, at five, after hours of trying to occupy herself, Coco emerged from the back room, hands fumbling behind her back as she tied her apron in place. Lou sent a thankful prayer out into the universe to whoever might be listening for the day finally being over and crawled, exhausted back to their shared apartment. 

* * *

_Can’t Read._ How did she come up with a new one of these every day? Reid hadn’t seen her repeat a single one, and each one was just as scathing or ridiculous as always. For someone who didn’t seem to show a lot of promise at her job, she sure was clever.

As he gazed over to her, assisting another customer with their order, it struck him for the first time that he didn’t know her name. That wasn’t so unusual given that he had never asked, but unlike the other Starbucks employees, she always refused to wear a name tag. So while he was familiar with Cosette and Bas, some of the others he recognized from when she wasn’t on shift, he still had no idea what the impossible girl was called.

He thought about marching right up to the counter and asking her for it, but what were the odds that this woman who went out of her way to misspell his name every day would give him a straight answer? And if she thought he was hitting on her, he was certain that there’d be hell to pay in leaps and bounds as she tormented him for the rest of time. So he sat, coffee in hand, staring out at the brisk early spring day as he relished in these few minutes of downtime he had in an otherwise hectic day.

* * *

“Thanks for covering for me, Bas!” Lou blew him as kiss as she stripped off her apron and company issue polo shirt, revealing the homemade t-shirt she’d painted last night with Coco.

Bas had graciously volunteered to fill in for a couple of hours this morning in exchange for Lou giving him his birthday off next month. She’d even given him a pre-labeled cup with instructions just in case she missed a run in with her “favorite” officer. 

Gods, was she calling him that now? She was going to need to seriously rethink her priorities. But that could come later. Today was her day.

She and Coco spent all morning painting and waving signs, flaunting themselves, and just generally having a good time, despite the circumstances.

There were no signs of Reid or his protege, though a national news coverage van had covered their protest and many uniformed officers had been present around the periphery.

Lou’s stomach had dropped when she’d seen the cameras, but half her face had been painted, and she was in the middle of bodies packed along the lawn.

There was little chance anyone watching would recognize her, even if they could somehow pick her face out of the raucous crowd. That’s what she just had to keep telling herself anyways.

Coco dropped her off back at Starbucks in the early afternoon, where Lou made a quick pitstop in the bathroom to wash off her makeup and change back into her uniform. If she was lucky, Bas wouldn’t notice that she was a full half hour late due to the traffic jam the news coverage had caused, though it wasn’t like she could have easily avoided that anyways.

As fate would have it, Reid, all by his lonesome and out of uniform, had just taken his usual seat. She still got to watch with satisfaction as his face screwed up, trying to piece together why an entirely different barista had given him a cup labeled, _Ragweed._

* * *

“Reid!” The barista named Bas called right before handing Reid a cup which somehow had _Ragweed _scrawled across it in the woman’s handwriting.

He hadn’t seen her in the ten minutes since they’d arrived, the man appearing to be the only employee taking orders and making drinks, so he was puzzled about how and why she had gone to such lengths to call him names once again.

Only when he’d sat back down at his table did he notice her slip out of the back room, a smug grin on her face as she spotted him. Did she just hide in that room thinking of ways to torment him in her free time?

“You owe me one, Lou,” her coworker groaned, flashing a glance at the clock.

“Yeah, yeah.” The woman—_Lou_—waved a hand absentmindedly as she used the other to begin pulling her hair into a messy ponytail. “I’m already covering two of your shifts for this.”

With a roll of his eyes, Bas disappeared into the back room, and Lou set about clearing out the line and finishing up orders before heating herself up a cinnamon bun and settling back against the counter with a look of pure bliss on her face.

After a few minutes, the bell on the front door rang, and a lone redheaded woman strolled in as if she owned the place, walking straight up to Lou without a second thought and leaning over the bar to whisper something to her.

Instantly, Lou paled, setting down the half-eaten cinnamon bun with shaky hands as she nodded to the woman. Reid couldn’t make out what was being said from across the room, but he got the gist of it well enough. Lou was being threatened.

He waltzed up to the counter, pulling his badge out of his back pocket and flashing it conspicuously at the stranger. The woman backed up a step, flashed a knowing face at Lou and walked out of the store without another word. 

There was nothing Reid could do to stop her, having not actually heard any of the conversation or seen any move on her part to assault Lou. He just had that feeling that Lou was somehow in danger. He would not be forgetting this face.

“What did she say to you?” he asked, two hands on the counter in an effort to control his thinly-veiled anger.

“N—Nothing.” Lou was still trembling, and Reid could see the wheels turning as she sat there and lied blatantly to his face.

“Lou, if you don’t tell me what she said, how am I supposed to help you?” She might have been a pain in his ass, but she was a cute pain in his ass. And this was his job—protecting people.

She jumped. “How do you know my name?” Her eyes darted to the empty space on her chest where her name tag should be, confirming its absence and looking even more terrified.

“Your friend. He mentioned it before he left.” He raised his hands, the universal sign that he meant her no harm. Whatever had been exchanged out of his earshot had seriously spooked her. “If you come with me, I can get whatever was exchanged on record. If it’s bad enough, you could at least file a restraining order or something.”

Lou fervently shook her head. “It’s not worth it. I’ll be fine.”

* * *

Lou was going to be far from fine. Her mother knew where she worked. She knew where she _lived_. Go figure that her mother had eyes and ears across the country. Whoever that woman had been, she must’ve seen Lou’s face on TV and followed her back here afterwards. She was going to be sick to her stomach.

Suddenly, a warm hand was engulfing her shoulder. “Breathe,” he commanded, with no room for argument. Lou focused on taking a few deep breaths before finally looking up raggedly and taking the cop in. She’d never seen him here when he wasn’t on patrol. Yet, here he was dressed in slacks and a fitted jacket, looking far too formal but slightly more like a normal human being.

He still stuck out of the crowd like a sore thumb, with his gigantic, towering form, but at least the thought of it was enough to force a giggle from between Lou’s lips. A giggle which turned to a chuckle into a full blown belly laugh. She was pretty sure she was losing her mind.

When she finally dared to look up, she found him staring with a face full of unbridled alarm. “You sure you’re going to be okay here? I could get a squad car out here to monitor the place.”

Lou shook her head. That was the _last_ thing she needed—more attention being drawn to her. “No. She won’t be back today, and besides, she’s not a threat.” It was her mother, who would surely be hopping on a plane whom Lou had to actually worry about. But even with a private charter, Lou would be well off her shift by the time she could come sniffing around. Then it was time to lay low.

He frowned at her, clearly not trusting a word which came out of her mouth. “Seriously, Copper. I’ll be fine. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.” She thrilled in how the overly-large oaf writhed at the nickname. Oh, she knew his name well enough, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of actually _using _it. Especially if it would push him out the door sooner.

“Whatever you say.” He turned to leave, shoulders shrugging inward, and Lou couldn’t shake the feeling that he was annoyed with her. At least he seemed to be respecting her wishes, though. Shame she wouldn’t get to antagonize him anymore considering the fact that she’d be quitting tonight.

She waited out the last few hours of her shift before changing in the back room and throwing her hair up into a hat, all the better to hopefully not be recognized on the way home. She’d need her refuge for the time being as she tried to scrape everything together so she could flee to another part of the country.

Lou took the long way home, ducking in and out of stores, making a few odd detours, but as far as she could tell, she hadn’t been followed. It’d have to be enough for now.

* * *

Lou hadn’t been at work for four days now. Reid had been counting. None of her other coworkers seemed to pay him any mind either, so she clearly hadn’t left them instructions to keep up her handiwork of botching his name.

It wouldn’t have been particularly troubling, except he’d never known her to be absent for two days in a row, much less half a week. The other girl working there, Cosette, had been vague, but by the way the girl’s eyes darted around, he could tell that she was hiding something. He could only hope that whatever had been troubling Lou hadn’t come back to bite her.

He waited around for longer than usual, hoping that perhaps he would catch a change in shifts, but it never came, and so Reid found himself heading back to the station, disappointed but unsure what more he could do. If the girl wished to disappear, that was her choice.

He had just pulled out of the parking lot when he got the call over the radio. Apparently there was a small fire on the east side of town, but that wasn’t what had caused them to deploy a handful of squads. No—_that _had been the frantic 9-1-1 call which had come in only minutes beforehand frantically paranoid about being kidnapped.

When the two had been put together, the captain had decided to send reinforcements.

Reid pulled up to the curb outside the apartment building to find the building mostly evacuated, the tenants gathered across the street—all except for one cowering figure, hovering on the second story of the fire escape. 

The flames hadn’t made their way to her yet, but Reid could see the fear in Lou’s eyes, the trembling, the inexplicable bruising on her face. The firefighters were already trying to coax her down the ladder, but she wouldn’t budge.  


When he stepped out of the vehicle, her eyes locked with his own, and he saw the resignation in them. Suddenly, nimbly, and without any hesitation, she shot down the ladder, landing lightly on the sidewalk after the short fall.

Picking herself off the ground, she dusted her hands off and shrugged off the paramedics who’d rushed in to make sure she was fine. She avoided Reid’s gaze, but hovered near his squad car as the firefighters put out the blaze, staring transfixed until it was all over.

“You were the one who put in the call, weren’t you?” Reid asked, his voice tight as he fought to keep it measured.

“Maybe I was.” She shrugged, refusing to give him a straight answer once again.

“You know I need to take you back to the station. I at least need some sort of statement if there’s some sort of kidnapping threat, if you’re under some sort of duress.”

“I didn’t admit it was me. As far as you know, it could’ve been anyone here.” Lou gestured at the expansive crowd, all the people displaced by their home burning down.

“Ah, yes. Then I guess we’ll just have to sit around here, out in the open, keeping everyone until we’ve had a chance to interview you all.” 

That seemed to stir something within her for the next second, she was climbing into the _front _seat of his vehicle saying, “All right, Copper. I’ll take you up on your offer.”

They drove in complete silence—well, almost. She didn’t say one word to him, but she did throw her feet up on his dash and fiddle with the radio. He ground his teeth down, in part relieved to have found her safe, in part struggling _not _to tear his hair out at her blatant disrespect for his property.

She was just as little of a help when they got to the station and she gave only a pitiful lie of a story, claiming that she was mistaken. She’d woken up abruptly from a nap, mistaking the pounding of the delivery guy at her door for someone trying to break in and kidnap her and called the police in a frenzy. The bruising had been something equally as unbelievable—running into a wall last night while she fumbled to get to the bathroom in the dark.

Ansel and the captain seemed not to believe her either, because while they couldn’t keep her at the station, they only agreed to let her leave with a detail to guard her for the next twenty four hours.

“No way,” Lou fought back. “I don’t need one, honest.” _That _was something Reid had heard before. He rolled his eyes, and she asserted, “I’ll just go home and—”

“Home to where? Your building isn’t going to be habitable for a good while.”

She swallowed slowly, desperation beginning to take hold in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. We can put you up in a hotel. We can provide you with a guard detail at least until we’re sure someone _isn’t_ out for you. Why won’t you take the safe option?” God, this woman was absolutely infuriating. Couldn’t she see that they were just trying to protect her?

“I don’t want to stay in a hotel,” was all she offered, before turning on her heels and marching toward the exit. Ansel went to head her off.

“Then sleep here in a cell for all I care. Just stay somewhere safe.”

Her lips visibly curled at the mention. “No thanks.”

“The only safer solution I can come up with is staying with a cop.” The moment the words left his lips, Reid regretted them. They’d come out in the heat of the moment, but she seemed to pause just long enough to consider them.

The captain, unfortunately, took notice of her sudden shift in behavior too. “If that will get you to consider a guard detail, then we will do our best to arrange it.”

“Deal.” The words had left her lips before the captain had quite finished his sentence.

“Congratulations, Officer Diggory.” The captain clapped him on one shoulder. “Since it was your brilliant idea, she’s all yours. I’ll go fill out the paperwork.” He left Reid with his mouth hanging open before he could even get one word in edgewise.


End file.
